Chicken Wings - the only way to make them

Anyone who's read my brilliant treatment of the margarita cocktail knows that I am rather opinionated on certain things, culinarily speaking. Other examples: anyone disparaging another for ordering anchovies, or pineapple-and-ham, on pizza should be horsewhipped and shunned. Anyone ordering a quality steak grilled past medium - well, I do go on. But chicken wings are kind of the same thing.

First, some ground rules:

• Bone-in. "Boneless wings" are just chicken nuggets with an agent.
• Blue cheese dressing. Ranch is for the timid.
• Standard Buffalo (NY) Anchor Bar tossing sauce. This is one cup of Frank's Red Hot Sauce melted with an 8oz stick of unsalted butter. I'm told that Crystal Hot Sauce works well also, but I wouldn't know anything about that. Any other kind of sauce is for something other than real chicken wings.
• Deep fried at 350°F. If you want to air-fry or grill them, fine, but don't complain at me when they don't turn out.
• Buy good wings. Ignore the big cheap bags of frozen wing sections; these always include broken bones and - parts - that may have come from mutant chickens. Yes, you'll get broken bones in the fresh supermarket trays now and then, but nothing really weird. This means that you'll have to section them yourself, but so what - it's easy.
• Leave the tip on the paddle/flat section. Or not, what do I care. But it's a convenient handle, and you can chew on it a bit after gnawing off the meat. Sure, you can save them for stock that you'll never make, so do whatever you like.
• Julienned carrots and celery on the side. Or if you don't care for one or the other, leave it off, what do I care.

So, the process.

Chicken wings cry out for sous-vide. After sectioning your wings, toss them with a little salt, bag them, and drop them in the sous-vide tank for an hour at 165°F. Take the bag out and chill it in an ice bath. Once cold, remove them from the bag, lay them out on a rack on a sheet pan, and put them in the fridge to air dry for eight hours or overnight. Oh, but first rinse off any jellied fat that's accumulated.

When ready to enjoy, prep your vegetables and dressing, and deep fry in peanut oil (or some other neutral high-smoke-point oil) at 350°F for four or five minutes. Remember, they're already cooked through; you just want to brown them.

Remove them from the oil and let them rest on a rack for a minute or so to harden up. Then toss in your Buffalo sauce for a bit, let them sit for a couple of minutes, plate and serve.

You won't need a napkin. You need a damp kitchen towel and a bone plate. Enjoy.